A Letter To Myself

Dear friends,

Forgive me for being away for so long but the last two months have been quite life-changing.

To begin with:

I am now back in school to complete my Early Childhood Education diploma (where the Lord wants me next, I have yet to confirm, but I have an inkling that it just might be Carleton University to pursue my Bachelor of Social Work)

This was quite an interesting decision to have to make so abruptly and so soon. I was originally going to complete my diploma starting this spring but in the evening. However, the Lord had something else in mind and wanted me to complete it during the day. Hopefully, this will speed up the process for me to also complete my final placement in a daycare center, hence allowing me to complete and get my E.C.E Diploma

NEWS FLASH: I used to hate having to type up my blog on my laptop because my mouse would always somehow manage to highlight all the wonderful things I had written...and they would automatically delete as I would continue to type the 5th paragraph I was already on. But Hallelujiah, thank you Jesus, I found the lovely little contraption on my laptop that renders your laptop mouse inactive while you type. Whoever invented this, GOD BLESS YOU


Now continuing:

Hummm....

I have been struggling for quite some time with understanding the concept of self-love and self-respect. I now know that all my `self-esteem` issues stem from the lack of a father figure in my household while I grew up into a young girl then later on into a young woman.


Here I am now and I am ready and willing to learn from the Lord.

It started with Him leading me to a website called "The Daily Love" ...and though there are some writers that I would call "hippie", I value some of the points the writers make about loving yourself.

Loving yourself is a continuous art that we must all strive to work at.

Why? Because when you love yourself and are therefore OVERFLOWING with love, it is then easier to do the Lord's work WITH and IN love.

(Hallelujia, thank you Jesus)


SO:


I wrote this little love letter to myself after a nasty fight with my mom that actually began the steps to healing and humbling me.

"Dear Mbula darling,

Yes, tonight's fight was the beginning of something beautiful: YOURSELF

I know you're tired of always standing up for yourself against your mother but YOU ARE WORTH THE FIGHT. YOU ARE AMAZING WONDERFULLY AND FEARFULLY MADE.

Trust in the Lord and He will help you humble yourself and honor your mother and father.
There is work to be done. I know there will be days where you don't "feel" like doing it and putting work & energy into your relationship but decide this; YOU WILL NOT GIVE UP ON HER!
She is also worth the fight.
You cannot move out unless it's perfectly setup.
I don't want you to wear a mask on the outside and be ugly behind closed doors.
I don't want you growing up thinking you can't develop meaningful relationships, bonds & conections with your children.
I know you think she doesn't care, but she does, in her own little kamba woman way <3
You can't change her, but you can change the depth & meaningfulnes of your relationship
When the Lord said let the dead bury their dead, it was for you. Show the Lord where you have buried this relationship and ou will see him bring it to life and loosen the bonds!"


Wow....


Reading all that now...It's actually quite prophetic. I showed where I had buried the hatchet, the axe, the chainsaw, the matches and the knife...and guess what? He turned all those weapons into tools.

My mother and I have some ways to go....but the process has just begun and I know the Lord won't give up on us until the good works that he started in us, is complete.

Today I am thankful for the opportunity to serve such a loyal, faithful and understanding God.

THERE IS NONE LIKE HIM: FACT

Mother's day is right around the corner and I really don't know what my mom would like except maybe for me to clean this house and cook her a nice meal...I'm thinking of getting her perfume instead LOL #Godhelpme

There's more I would like to write but it will have to wait until another day.

In the meantime,

God bless you all and keep you safe

xoxo

-MBULA ENOBONG