Do Your Best and Let God Do the Rest

Do your best and let God do the rest

By:  Mbula Mutheu Enobong

Someone once told me that half the work is showing up. I didn’t realize how true that would be for me until I hit rock bottom.

I had just received the diagnosis of bipolar disorder, a mood disorder, and was going through all the emotions that come with such life altering news. Emotions like fear, anxiety, confusion and anger filled my mind and I felt like I couldn’t find answers to all my questions. Would I ever find true love despite the illness? Would I ever achieve my dreams?  Make my mark on the world? Could I be a contributing member of society? Being labelled with a mental illness was like confirming all the insecurities I ever had about myself.   I asked God why He was letting such an awful thing happen to me. After all, I had been a faithful Christian, doing my best to live holy. When I didn’t get an answer, I decided to turn my back on God and my church. I decided I would be able to find the joy and happiness I once had in a bottle of alcohol or on the dance floor at a nightclub. However, I could find no comfort there. Depression and sadness followed me everywhere I went until I didn’t know where to go to find relief for the pain, sadness and confusion that I felt. As I contemplated suicide, one thought constantly kept coming to me “I’m going to have to answer to God as to why I took my own life”. Despite that thought, I continued to fantasize about different methods and began to mentally write a suicide note to my family.

Throughout that grim time, I somehow managed to keep a steady job in the community, running a kindergarten program for the families.  Thankfully, doing work that I loved made it easier to get out of bed in the morning because I had something to look forward to; something to live for. I did my best by showing up for work and God did the rest.  Parents would write emails to my supervisor saying how much they appreciated my work. In all honesty it was the bare minimum, but it was the best I could do at the time. And yet, even though I had turned my back on God, He hadn’t turned His back on me. I felt as though God was saying to me “Even in your darkest hour, I am with you” He loved me at my darkest just like it says in Romans 5:8. He loved me and sent me encouragement because He knew what I needed to keep on fighting. Those words of encouragement (and other tools) helped me to come out of depression and suicidal thoughts.

I encourage you today dear reader. God sees your pain and your heart aches and He knows just what it will take to pull you through. He won’t leave your or forsake you, that’s His promise (Deuteronomy 31:6) He knows how to heal your broken heart and He knows how to save you from your self-destructive ways.

He wants to pour love and grace into you, but first you have to open the door of your heart and let Him in. He’s a gentleman and He won’t barge in uninvited.

I pray that if you are in a place of despair or hopelessness and don’t know where to turn, that you would start by trusting your life in God’s hands. I pray that you allow Him to heal and change your heart and that you find something worth fighting for, worth living for.  Remember to do your best and let God do the rest.