Raw

Dear Single Ladies Who Have Already Had Sex...

As of a month ago, it's been a year since I stopped having sex (Hallelujiah thank you Jesus)

I know some of you out there are virgins (and praise the good Lord for it, hold it down soldier!) and some of you aren't, so if you're uncomfortable reading, please go ahead and close the screen.

If you ask me today whether or not I regret starting to have sex at a young age I will say no because the experience I have gained and the lessons I have learned will not only put me in a position to help others whose spirits are grieving but most importantly for the glory of God.

I write this to you because I know what it's like to have angry sex
...I know what it's like to give a part of yourself that you think is ALL of yourself and ALL of your love only for it to be thrown back in your face

... Baby-girl I  know what it's like to LIVE for the high that comes with the knowledge and power you have over a man just by dangling the IDEA of you in his bed.

... I know what it's like to have sex with someone because you want what you THINK is his love and THEIR way of showing you love.

...but most of all, I know what it's like to be so caught up in sex, lust , passion and desire, that you forget who you really are and why you're really hurting in the first place.

I know it all because I was once that girl...

That girl that thought she was a bad b**** because she graded her value or her desirability based on how many guys were blowin' up her phone or how many guys she was dramatizing over.

I've been there in the heat of the moment, enjoying sexual pleasure only to discover that the aftermath SUCKED.

Why?

Simply because it was not with the right person.

My darling...

Please wait for the right person.

When I say the right person, I don't mean that yeah he's hot ,he's got good jeans (genes), he's got talent, got smarts and is old enough...

I say it has to be the right person because only God knows who that right person is FOR YOU and only God can bring that person into your life to help fulfill your most intimate and sexual desires.

The reason why only God can do it is because he knows that if sex is not being SHARED properly, someone is either getting used or getting hurt.

When sex is in marriage, the love between the couple has already grown and there is no room for selfishness.

It has  literally taken me a year of consecration,and intermittent seasons of fasting to spiritually break up and break off the guys from my past- whether we have had sexual relations or had foreplay. Either way, the Lord showed me how they affected me spiritually.

 When someone else's spirit affects you, it also affects everything else in your life; your mental state, emotional state and physical state. 

If you chose to, monitor the aftermath next time you have sex with someone out of marriage.  If they're angry or going through drama in their life, see how quickly you get caught up in the whirlwind or how quickly THEIR problems become yours or how all of a sudden YOUR problems become too big to handle along with his...just watch and see, it's no joke.

All the same, thanks be to the Lord God, the Alpha and the Omega, the one who knows me and understands me best, but most of all, my merciful and patient savior Jesus, because DAILY He is teaching me how to crucify my flesh with Him on the cross and hold on for better days

So as Sister Grant said : Everything is under the blood and if he's (spouse) still got a problem with my past then I need to move on.

I am imperfect in my sin and so is my future husband. Henceforth, only a perfect God can bring two imperfect people together.

And the only time God approves of two imperfect people coming together is through marriage.

Even if you don't believe in marriage or believe in God, or believe in waiting for marriage before having sex,

I suggest all the same taking your time to really get to know the guy first, even if it takes you five years before you REALLY trust him and are comfortable with him.

Because a man who respects you and cares about your spiritual, emotional, physical and psychological well-being will even wait until the last day of his dying breath to get nookie. 

THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS ABOUT.

And marriage,as a commitment, is a covenant before God that only intensifies and strengthens the love you already have and share. 

Real love goes beyond sex and touchy feely and kissy kissy. How do you think married couples in their 80's
do it once the viagra no longer works?