April 15th 2020
So..
Dear reader💕💕
Its been awhile since I blogged. I'm currently writting to you from a shelter. My beloved cousin Nzalu passed away last year and part of my grieving process is reading his blogs. It has re-lit a blazing fire towards my passion for writing.
He had a blog on wordpress (eww) but he was a BRILLANT and hilarious writer. I legit aspire to write like him. Im finna print off all his blogs and start highlighting his punch lines😆 ...I mean this guy was insanely witty and had a way of translating it into writing. He had a whole commentary about burkinis with word play. Brilliant I tell you. And apparently his sister would help him edit the blogs as well! I think writing is yet another thing that runs in our family. If you want to see for yourself what I mean, I will add the link below.
In one of his posts he mentioned that he took a hiatus and would publish more...he never did. And that made me think holy shit I have at least 10 blogs I never posted,... What if I die and no one ever reads them..?😐
Then I saw this meme in my poetry group that even if no one reads my blog, I should still write! Same with my poetry, music and every other creative thing I do that goes unrecognized.
It begs the need to reflect as to whether we would create if we didn't have an audience or the prospect of one.
I will admit initially it was about views and hoping people read my work. But traffic on my page has slowed down significantly from the time I started. This is because I wasn't posting as often, but also because I was no longer writing to a particular audience ( predominantly Christian). But I see now how having a niche made a huge difference.
But even more importantly, I realized that my art/work is still important even if no one ever reads it.😁
Now...I have a couple more blogs sitting in my drafts that I've been embarrassed to post because lorttttt that manic brain is on a whole different plane of existence😩😬. But also the shame is part of a larger issue;the internal stigma about having bi-polar disorder that I strive to unpack. I should explore that in another post sometime
But what's a blog anyway😩😩? An online diary? Lol ...I've matured in different ways since I started this blog, so this is out of my comfort zone not having some type of direction. Now its time to test whether that whole phrase "growth happens outside of your comfort zone" is real
I appreciate you bearing with me while I collect the courage to sift through past entries and give birth to a glimpse into my mind.
Stay tuned for the next posts. They are some poems I have been working on 😁
Until next time my dearest readers.
Sincerely,
Lady Emm💅💖💜💫
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